Suzanneiam

The last two years have been quite a ride, much of it downhill and too fast, in this rickety cart I am calling my life. I am now at the bottom of the hilly place standing at the side of the cart that I was calling my life two years ago, looking at the destruction and trying to decide how best to put everything back in place.  Some of the wheels fell off, some of the wheels I took off, some wheels are lost, and now I am in a place to move on and reconstructing the cart feels daunting.
I am stopping myself.
Life has stabilized from all the changes and there is only me in the way. I know this and it is still hard. It is still so easy to be “busy”, to be “stressed”, to make excuses that sound reasonable but that are in fact making me miserable. I have decided I am determined to move forward.  Determined to have an art filled and happy life again.
To do this I must refocus my time.  I must stop looking at the art that I want to do as frosting but instead as the meal, the sustenance that I need to live my life. I know that that is when I am happy.  I must not allow myself any more excuses.
I must make art.
Everyday.
For me.